he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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