Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
