No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
