apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you would pick up someone in the library
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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