don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
