yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize