Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
