He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
