whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
