The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The feeling are messing with the penis
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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