it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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