This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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