Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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