I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
A+ Viking dick
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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