D3 body, D1 cock
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
