he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
