Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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