I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
