no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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