Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
