What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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