The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
