the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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