i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
