Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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