I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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