Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
