Sponge bath it is.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Randomize
