I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
