There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize