On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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