hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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