He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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