I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
