I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
my liver is dry heaving
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
