I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
