I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize