WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We're not piercing ourselves today.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
