More tranny stories later!
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Two words: blizzard sex
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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