Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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