Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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