I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Hippo gnu deer
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
