we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
So much rum. So many feels.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
