It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
