That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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