I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
