we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
