i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize