At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
