i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
