Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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