Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
