hell yes lets make some ravioli
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize