It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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