I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize