As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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