Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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