ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
