I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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