IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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