I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
